Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem (your future spouse) better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of (your future spouse). Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus – Philippians 2:3-5

But take heed lest by any means this liberty of yours become a stumbling block to them that are weak . . . But when you sin so against the brethren, and wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ. Wherefore, if meat make my brother to offend, I will eat no flesh while the world stands, lest I make my brother to offend. – 1 Corinthians 8:9,12-13

Am I not an apostle? am I not free? have I not seen Jesus Christ our Lord? are not ye my work in the Lord? . . . For though I be free from all men, yet have I made myself servant unto all, that I might gain the more. And unto the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might gain the Jews; to them that are under the law, as under the law, that I might gain them that are under the law; To them that are without law, as without law, (being not without law to God, but under the law to Christ,) that I might gain them that are without law. To the weak became I as weak, that I might gain the weak: I am made all things to all men, that I might by all means save some. – 1 Corinthians 9:1,19-22

But if any man say unto you, This is offered in sacrifice unto idols, eat not for his sake that showed it, and for conscience sake: for the earth is the Lord’s, and the fullness thereof: Conscience, I say, not thine own, but of the other: for why is my liberty judged of another man’s conscience? For if I by grace be a partaker, why am I evil spoken of for that for which I give thanks? Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God. Give none offense, neither to the Jews, nor to the Gentiles, nor to the church of God: Even as I please all men in all things, not seeking mine own profit, but the profit of many, that they may be saved. – 1 Corinthians 10:28-33

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

The more mature and stronger you become positionally in the kingdom, the lower a place socially you understand yourself to have, that those weaker than you have a claim on your strength. One built after the pattern of the Big Heroic Lover, Jesus Christ. A Perfect-Spouse-in-the-making, a pint-sized Intercessor. A Little Heroic Lover must prove to be always honourable, loving, responsive to need, pure of heart, protecting, brave, courageous, quick to forgive, truth telling, respectful, generous, thoughtful, kind, self-controlled, clean, orderly, alert, and, of course, happy and enthusiastic,.

The Little Heroic Lover Test

The following are 16 proving points of the Ready Lover.

#1 Always Demonstrate Honour

A Little Heroic Lover always exhibits the behaviour of Heaven. He does nothing disgusting or rude. He does nothing disorderly or diminishing to others. He always edifies his friends and family. And he is always watchful not to speak, or dress, or live, or behave in a disrespectful way that would make others feel awkward.  He will always give up his own liberty to ensure that someone else around him is made stronger.

#2 Live a Clean and Orderly Life

A Little Heroic Lover keeps things in order.  He keeps things clean and tidy.  Whether it’s his room, his desk, or his body.  And by doing this, he’s demonstrating the fact that His God does all things decently and in order.  Our God is a God of cleanliness, light, order, and purity.  And His Little Heroic Lovers must reflect this quality.  And in doing so, we lay a foundation for a clean and orderly future with our spouse.

A Clean and Orderly Room and Desk

A Little Heroic Lover has a practice ground with his own personal space.  His bed for instance should always be kept neat.  And if it gets ruffled in the night, then first thing in the morning it should be groomed with great attention to detail – not one wrinkle, sheets, blankets, and comforters evenly distributed over the bed, and crisply presented to anyone who might have occasion to see it during the day.  And if at all possible, to avoid the build-up of dirt upon the sheets, a Little Heroic Lover is watchful to ensure that his sheets are washed and freshened weekly.   A Little Heroic Lover must determine a place for everything.  Clean clothes, dirty clothes, toys, books, pencils, pens, extra change, etc.  And once he determines the place for these things, then he must make sure that these things, though they be used during the day, are always immediately put back into their proper place after use.   This will help to ensure a tidy environment and thus lay a healthy foundation for tidy marriage and a tidy family.

A Clean and Orderly Body

A Little Heroic Lover keeps his body in order, healthy, clean, and fresh smelling.  He learns to make sure his mouth is always kept fresh, with frequent tooth brushings and periodic mouthwash.  He wears deodorant in order that his personal smell does not overpower any given environment.  He bathes daily, or as frequent as possible, in order to maintain a cleanness to his body and a freshness to his bearing.  He grooms his hair to make sure that it not prove a distraction but only an enhancement to his life conversation. And he dresses in clothing that is appropriate for the situation, clean and pressed, in order that his bearing might be respectful to those he encounters in his journeys.  And thusly, a Little Heroic Lover is already learning how to love and show respect to his future spouse, because a future spouse will undoubtedly find great satisfaction in this pattern of behaviour.   Beware: the Little Heroic Lover will surely be overwhelmed in his marriage with a multitude of hugs, kisses, and cuddles (from his spouse, of course) as a result of such attention to detail.

#3  Sleep with Respect

A Little Heroic Lover realizes that his bed may one day be shared with someone else.  Someone a bit more delicate than he.  Someone that he preferably not kick, elbow, and rudely toss out onto the floor in the middle of the night.  Therefore, the Little Heroic Lover must learn how to sleep with calm and order.  He must learn to sleep in a manner that honours others.  If he snores, he ought to seek a bodily position which would not encourage snoring.  If he hogs covers, by excessive rolling, he ought to train how to sleep still in one position and only turn slightly, and without great drama, during the night.  A Little Heroic Lover must be a respectful sleeper.

#4  Eliminate the Gross Habits (picking nose, burping, scratching, making unseemly noises,  popping knuckles, not lifting the toilet seat)

This may be obvious to many, but unfortunately, there are those in this audience that must have this spelled out.  A Little Heroic Lover must prove noble and respectful in the manner in which he handles his body.  And this means that all gross, unseemly, or disrespectful habits must be eliminated.  If the nose needs attention, avoid using a probing picking finger, but rather, show decency by utilizing a Kleenex to assist with the operation and this in privacy if at all possible.  Control all bodily noises.  Harness the body to love and respect those around you at all times.  Thusly burping, cracking knuckles, smacking your mouth while eating, and other foul noises inappropriate to mention herein, should all be eliminated from the behaviour patterns of the Little Heroic Lover.  Oh, and the way a Little Heroic Lover handles the toilet matters greatly.  It must always be left clean with seat down, and for the sake of the softer sex, it can often be appropriate to leave it with the lid down as well, so as not to expose any passers-through with any unnecessary glimpses of toilet water.

#5 Cultivate the manners of Heaven

A Little Heroic Lover must not just eliminate the gross, unseemly, and disrespectful habits, but he must also cultivate manners that demonstrate thoughtfulness, love, and respect.  For instance, appropriately saying “thank you” after something generous is done for you.  Looking people in the eye when they talk with you and giving them undivided focused attention.  Eating the food that is set before you without complaint, but with gladness no matter what manner of food it is.  Showing proper table manners and when done, always seeking ways to help clean up both your own plate and the plates of everyone around you.  Opening the door for girls, talking with respectful and quieter volume in a public place, and always showing deference to the elders among you.  For a Little Heroic Lover to be properly prepared to honour his spouse in marriage, these heavenly manners are of great importance.

#6  Demonstrate a Disciplined manner (not overeating, not oversleeping, not trifling with petty things, but utilizing every moment for the glory of Jesus Christ)

A Little Heroic Lover is not ruled by the flesh, but is ruled by the Spirit.  And he demonstrates this by his daily schedule and the attentiveness he gives to the important things and the disregard he gives to the enticement of the “Overs” – overeating, oversleeping, overplaying, overspending, over-resting, over-talking, over-reading, over-meditating on things that are not centre, and over-spending on things that are non-essential.  A Little Heroic Lover must allow the Spirit of God to discipline his manner and well-balance him according to the value system of the Kingdom.

#7 Handle money like Jesus (splurge on the sacred things, skimp on the secular things, and starve the profane things)

A Little Heroic Lover is serious about not letting money get the better of him or his future marriage.  He must not be controlled by money, led by the need for money, or overly-fascinated with the idea of getting more money.  If money gets out of its proper and necessary context, then the Little Heroic Lover is no longer a Little Heroic Lover, but rather a Little Anxious Varmint.  Money must not be treated as the enemy, but it also must not be treated as the solution to life’s problems.  Jesus is the solution and always the solution.  More of Jesus is what causes life to work and not just more money.  However, money plays an important role in the success of a Little Heroic Lover, because, in a certain way, money is necessary to the function of life on earth.  We all need it, but we don’t need to be controlled by our need for it.    And we all will have it, but money does not need to have us.  The way in which a Little Heroic Lover learns to handle it will define, in a large degree, the atmosphere of his future marriage and family.  So the budding Little Heroic Lover must learn how to utilize money properly.  And the basic rule of thumb is “Seek the priority of Christ first in your life, receive your assignment from Him, and then let God back you up with the necessary resources to pull of the assignment.  Then when you have resources, splurge on the things that are sacred, that express His Kingdom, the build-up lives, and that showcase Gospel love.  Skimp on things that are secular.  In other words, things that are necessary (like cars), but they do not represent the kingdom priority.  And then starve the things that are profane and spend not one dime on anything that is polluted, perverted, or contrary to the purposes of our King here on earth.

#8  Live with Two-Eyeballs Watching

A Little Heroic Lover realizes that their every moment, every decision, every glance, every word, and every encounter matters to Jesus.  But they also realize that it matters to their future spouse.  So, as a result, they live as if their future spouse can see them.  Everything they do is being watched and witnessed by one who cares deeply.  The Little Heroic Lover knows how to ask the question, “Would my future spouse feel loved right now?  Would this conversation make them feel awkward, jealous, or hurt?  How can I love them, show them honour, and do kindness unto them even now?”  The Little Heroic Lover is motivated to do their future spouse good and not harm all the days of their life, starting right now.

#9  Treat parents and siblings like royalty

As a matter of principle, the Little Heroic Lover always treats others as more important than himself.  But out of all the people on earth, he shows an extra special courtesy, honour, deference, and thoughtfulness towards his God-given family members.  He speaks of their strengths and attempts to avoid ever needing to mention their frailties.  He serves them in any way he can, prays for them always, seeks their protection, and always yearns for their health, security, and spiritual maturity.  When an Little Heroic Lover learns to be excellent in relationship with his parents and siblings, then he will by matter of course, be excellent in his future marriage.

#10  Quick to sacrifice for the benefit of others  (first sufferer that others may succeed)

A Little Heroic Lover is always willing to be the first to suffer loss.  If there are four pieces of pizza and five people, the Little Heroic Lover graciously says, “I insist that you four take them.”  If there are two people and only one warm coat on a chilly day, then the Little Heroic Lover graciously will remove the coat from his own shoulders and place it around the shoulders of the other.  If someone is to blame, the Little Heroic Lover will take the blame even if his fault in the matter was only minor.  A Little Heroic Lover cherishes the pains of sacrifice if they bring life to others around him, and thusly is prepared to always give of himself for the betterment of his marriage and the glory of God.

#11  Purity of mind and body

A Little Heroic Lover guards his every thought, and doesn’t allow any selfish, fleshly thinking into his system.  He is constantly aware of his actions, and forsakes all selfish tendency in exchange for behaviour that reflects heaven’s throne room and thusly honours and edifies everyone around him.  He cuts out all profane allurements and entertainments that would compromise his soul and he uses his eyes to only look at things that would proving loving and honouring to his future spouse.

#12  Don’t let the sun go down on your anger

A Little Heroic Lover doesn’t have a burdened conscience, but a happy one.  He keeps his accounts short and takes care of them daily.  If he slips up, he makes up.  If he hurts someone, then he is quick to ask forgiveness.  If he makes a mistake, then he is purposeful to make it right the very same day, as far as depends on him.  The rule of thumb for a Little Heroic Lover is that before he goes to bed that night he will have made things right with everyone he has personally wronged or slighted.  He cannot and will not let the sun go down on his anger.  He learns to sleep the sleep of peace, because he gives the enemy absolutely no room to manoeuvre in his soul, and will thusly be prepared to enjoy a marriage in which the residue of bitterness and resentment is unable to develop.

#13  Be thoughtful

A Little Heroic Lover always has eyes to see the needs of those around him.  And this must be constantly practiced.  Every day in every situation, the Little Heroic Lover must learn to ask God the question, “Is there anyone I can be of service to right now?”  Most people spend all their time thinking about how they can serve themselves.  But not a Little Heroic Lover.  A true Hero is interested in becoming a benefit to the lives of everyone around him.  So, he demonstrates this in a thousand and one different ways.  If he sees the kitchen garbage filling up, he figures out where it needs to go and take out the trash.  If he sees that the toilet paper roll is out, he hunts down a replacement.  If he notices the floor needs sweeping, the dishes need washing, or a light bulb needs changing, he doesn’t wait to be asked to help – he just jumps up and gets the job done.  For if he can learn to jump up and tend to these small things, and then he will be prepared to jump up and tend to the needs in his marriage in the future.   But it important to note, that thoughtfulness is not just for practical fix-it or clean-up things in the house.  A Little Heroic Lover also knows how to show expressions of thoughtful warmth and affection to those in his range of relationship.  He loves to bring surprises that kindle notions of love and appreciation.  A note written, a picture drawn, a poem left, a flower strategically laid, or a thousand other things beside.  The Little Heroic Lover that proves thoughtful in his younger years will never lose his thoughtfulness in his elder years.

#14  Follow God’s lead in all matters  (give God the pen)

A Little Heroic Lover is led by God and not by his own impulses, designs, or wishes.  He is harnessed to God’s agenda and learns to follow it no matter where it might take him.  He learns to not lean on his wit and wisdom but on God’s Word.  He learns to not follow his own instincts but God’s Spirit.  He learns not to turn to his flesh or this world for counsel, but to keep his spiritual eyes trained on Truth.  He learns to yield to God at every turn.  He learns to keep his ear attuned.  He learns to be expectant for God to lead.  He learns confidence in the ability of God to overcome in all seemingly impossible situations.  A Little Heroic Lover who learns to follow God’s lead in small matters will be prepared to follow God in every other matter of more sizable proportion (ie. his love story and his life calling).

#15  Develop complimentary service skills (cooking, handyman skills, sewing, auto-mechanical, electrical, typing, fine carpentry, etc.)

A Little Heroic Lover uses his single years wisely and allows a thorough preparation to take place.  And as an act of love, he learns practical skills that will enable him to show practical love in married life and thusly help his future family life function more effectively and efficiently.

#16  Eat Your Vegetables (take care of your body)

A Little Heroic Lover takes care of his body as an act of love for his spouse.  He fills the tank with fuel that will make his body stronger, more robust, and not just food that tastes good.  He is willing to forgo the fatty foods in order to stay slimmer and stronger.  He is willing to forgo the sugary satisfactions in order to maintain an outward sparkle that would please his future spouse.

A Little Heroic Lover exercises as a means of love, he demonstrates thoughtfulness to his spouse by giving them a body in marriage that is fit and strong, healthy and sound.

Your Love Life Begins Now

Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem (your future spouse) better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of (your future spouse). Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 2:3-5